i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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