i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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