bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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