Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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