i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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