One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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