So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
