its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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