and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
