so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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