Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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