DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
BRING THE BAGELS
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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