so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
