you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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