DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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