you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
