Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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