Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
