Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I know her cup size but not her name....
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
