I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
