i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
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Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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