I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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