you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
