They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
