i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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