my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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