I wish I could punch you in the face.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize