I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
