Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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