When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
