I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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