I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
