Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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