Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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