I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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