so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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