guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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