I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
