How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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