i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
