I could make wine with my vomit
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
