Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize