I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize