I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He kissed a someone with a penis
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
