She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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