We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
