I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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