The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
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Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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