and you said cock pushups were impossible
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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