I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
