Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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