I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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