she smelled like a LAN party
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
