I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
