operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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