My boss' voice literally gives me gas
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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