Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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