I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
