Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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