Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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