its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
