This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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